I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drake has all the answers
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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