its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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