does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
