this boner is exhausting
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're like the curious george of whores
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
