Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do herpes really smell.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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