No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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