I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Randomize
