did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
