At least make sure they are 18
Why
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
