yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
