What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
