i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
