so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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