i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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