'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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