I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
