TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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