i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
