I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
