My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
