Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
