I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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