You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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