oh god the rape fog is back!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
