He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize