see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
