Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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