I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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