How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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