Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
