I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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