this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I AM VODKA MAN
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize