the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
