pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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