I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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