Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
