I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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