4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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