dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
