East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
