bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
