apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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