I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
