I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
