I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
