If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
