Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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