I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Who died my cat blue again?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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