so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
