oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize