it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
