Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
