Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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