Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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