It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize