yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My vagina is officially offended.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
