Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
