K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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