People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
