Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
