I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
