halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
