I'm lost and stupid without you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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