I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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