I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Who did Billy Mays play for?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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