Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
