I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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