So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dicks are not precious.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize