just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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