i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
