sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.